First of all, IT'S A GIRL!!!!! I will soon have to change the name of my blog to "Four Princesses". How exciting!
Next, it is important to be aware that I am not the only diabetic, pregnant mama, so I like to share this vital aspect of my life with you as much as I can, especially since it involves the life of our new princesses. Yesterday, was my first time ever, to be seen by a group of people that specialize in high risk pregnancies. Just the fact that I am a person that has to add this step to my prenatal care is scary. I didn't sleep all night, the night before. All night long, I kept reminding myself about how exciting it would be to have my ultrasound, and find out if we were having a boy or a girl. To my surprise the staff were really nice. I did not hear any grumbling about my situation in the hallway like I did at my first doctor's appointment. One nurse took me into a private room, and we discussed my health history, that of my husband's, all of my meds, and diet. My blood sugar is running higher than normal lately, but instead of the usual lecture that most diabetics get when their levels are elevated, I was given a definite game plan and quite a bit of encouragement. There was also a lot of stress on the fact that I did not cause this problem, and that I am at the point in my pregnancy that makes diabetes a little harder to manage. A general family doctor often treats elevated blood sugar as a condition that is only brought about by laziness and gluttony. After a video and lots more discussion with other nurses, doctors, and the radiologist who did my ultrasound, I was sent home with a huge burden lifted from my shoulders. The baby is fine, I'm fine (and will be even more fine as we continue to adjust diet/meds), and I have finally fallen into the hands of some people that actually care about and understand what is going on. For the next few days, I'm having to follow a diet plan with a lot more carbs than I'm used to having, and have to check my blood sugar around 7 times per day. I will then call the hospital to report my readings so that they can decide how to adjust my insulin and what they would like to add to it, if anything. I recently read an article about diabetes and depression. Studies show that many people feel that their blood sugar readings are a judge of their moral character. I think that I have fallen into that trap, and it's not a good feeling. The last month or so, I have been reminding myself over and over that for whatever reason, this is the way that God made me. I am who I am, and there was nothing that I could have done to have caused it and nothing that I can do to stop it. It doesn't make me a bad person, and it's not a punishment.............it just IS.