Friday, May 27, 2011

It's unusual for me to post more than once per day, but after publishing "I Wanna Talk About Jesus", I looked down at Tarja's sweet, sleeping face, and a horrible day that we shared almost two years ago came back to visit my memory.

On a cold afternoon, Abbey brought Tarja from their bedroom. She was hanging from her arms like a rag doll. Her eyes were rolled back into her head, and she was making a strange gurgling sound. Abbey said, "Mom....she won't snap out of it." I took Tarja from her, sat her on my lap, and screamed for Melody to call 911. It appeared that she was not breathing. I thought that she was choking on something, and did a finger sweep in her mouth, but could find nothing. I shook her slightly, turned her over and pounded on her back to allow her to expel whatever was cutting off her breathing, but nothing was happening. She seemed to be fading fast. Melody called everybody that she could for help, and I held Tarja in my arms and cried, begging God to please not take my baby. Everything was in slow motion as we waited for the ambulance. By this time, we were all holding her and each other, and crying, pleading for her to stay. The neighbors across the street came running. By the time the ambulance arrived, I had completely lost all of my senses, and I don't remember a whole lot of what happened until she came to on the way to the hospital.

By the time the doctor examined her, Tarja was fully alert, and acted like nothing had ever happened. The doctor said, "Ma'am, your baby is fine, and will never know that this ever happened. YOU are the one that will have to recuperate." Believe it or not, I was still crying by the time we were discharged from the emergency room. It turns out that she had a febrile seizure that was caused because she had received vaccinations while she had an ear infection. It will take me a long time to forgive the clinic that gave those vaccinations, because I told them that she was sick and they told me that she wasn't sick enough to not receive her shots.

Thank you, Jesus, for blessing us with this princess when we didn't think that we could have any more children, and for keeping her safe and well. That day will be burned on our hearts forever, but you kept this baby in your hands loving hands.


  1. One of mine has had 2 febrile seizures - they are one of the scariest things I've ever had to deal with as a mother. I'm thankful that your little one was fine, and that this is just a bad memory for you now.

  2. I feel for you, truly. It is so hard. When DS #1 was 1, he had the MMR and the Varivax (Chickenpox.) We knew he would be feverish for up to 5 days.... on day 5, the low-grade fever ended and we happily returned to work/daycare. Day 6, I got a call.... he spiked at 105. They had me on one line, my hubs on another and my ped on another. DS was also on his cell talking to another nurse at our ped. We had to get him to the hospital ASAP. I was preggers with #2..... Horrible.

    Many prayers/tears later, we have our sweet healthy boy (who actually broke out in pox, despite the vaccination.) We learned that varivax with MMR could be contraindicated..... MMR give at 12 months and varivax at 18..... what a horrible way to learn that lesson.